You're successful. You're miserable. Is this why?
The MacGuffin Problem
You’ve spent years—maybe decades—working hard, doing all the “right” things. You skilled up, earned credibility, collected degrees, titles, and accomplishments that signaled you’d made it. On paper, your career is downright impressive.
But your day-to-day feels like you’re dying, one little piece at a time.
I’ve spent the past fifteen years listening to top professionals in their fields—people who have all the trappings of success—describe their burnout and the nagging sense that something fundamental is off. They describe emotional and physical exhaustion that impacts everything: relationships with spouses and children, lack of interest in work they once found meaningful, chronic mistakes, physical ailments ranging from fatigue and headaches to serious illness.
Conventional wisdom says take a vacation, get some rest and relaxation. After two weeks on the beach, you’ll be right as rain.
Only that isn’t what happens. As one client told me, “I feel like a new person on vacation. I have energy, I enjoy my family. Even the colors around me look brighter. But as soon as I get back to the office, I collapse.” She’s not alone in her experience. What if this type of exhaustion isn’t about needing rest—it’s about rethinking our purpose?
Enter the MacGuffin
In film and literature, a MacGuffin is a plot device that propels the story forward without really being the point. Think of the priceless emerald in “Romancing the Stone”—Joan and Jack are brought together by their shared mission to find treasure. If they succeed, he’ll get rich and she’ll save her sister. They clash, laugh, fall in love, grow as people. At the climax, Joan has a choice: save the stone or save her sister and herself. By this point, she knows what really matters, and she acts instinctively. The stone was never the point. Her growth and the love she found were the real treasure. The emerald was her MacGuffin.
Here’s the uncomfortable truth: Like Joan, we’re all chasing MacGuffins.
College degrees. Corner offices. C-suite titles. TED stages. The “right” zip code. Designer everything. Six-figure incomes that require eighty-hour weeks. New York Times bestseller lists. The partner track at the prestigious firm.
Could these be legitimate, soul-driven goals? Absolutely. The question isn’t whether these things are inherently bad—it’s whether you chose them or they were chosen for you.
The “Should Goals” We Never Questioned
Take a moment and think about the “shoulds” in your life. These are all the things we’re told we should, must, or need to do by society, family, employers, institutions, marketers—the list of who “should” on us is endless.
Now ask yourself: are these shoulds important to you? Will they make your life feel abundant, meaningful, joyful? If that feels like too high a bar, ask yourself if they’ll make you content with your life. Will they help you sleep better at night, relax, focus, be present with the people you love?
If the answer is no, those Should Goals are probably MacGuffins. They move you forward, but don’t satisfy you.
The question isn't whether these things are inherently bad—it's whether you chose them or they were chosen for you.
Deep specialists face a particular version of this trap. You’ve invested twenty, thirty, or more years becoming an expert in your field. Your identity is fused with your professional role. The sunk cost is real. Your credibility comes from the institution’s brand. And now you’re supposed to just... keep climbing that same ladder? Even when it’s leaning against the wrong wall?
My MacGuffin Journey
I know something about this personally.
I spent twenty years working in child and youth policy. I loved the people I worked with—brilliant, dedicated professionals who genuinely wanted to make the world better for vulnerable kids. But I was increasingly frustrated by the systems I was trying to change and bored by the lack of innovation. I was worn out by working in offices where the culture reflected the trauma of the populations we served, creating environments that were, frankly, toxic.
I went on a journey to understand why public service institutions often lacked quality leaders. What I realized is that it had nothing to do with malice or incompetence. The people who sought out leadership roles were ego driven and great at self-promotion. On the other hand, I saw talented professionals hold themselves back because they didn’t see themselves as leaders.
They didn’t lack self-confidence—they’d internalized limiting stories, some from their own doubts, many imposed by a society that restricts opportunities for people who don’t fit the narrow template of white, cis-gender, upper-class male leadership.
My MacGuffin was believing I had to reform broken systems to make a difference in the world. What I discovered is that walking alongside individuals as they find their purpose and build lives that genuinely satisfy them—that’s where my impact lives. That’s my real treasure.
I became a coach to help accomplished professionals move past their MacGuffins and reach their full potential—as they define it, not as society defines it for them.
The Recognition That Changes Everything
Identifying MacGuffins requires courage. It means taking honest stock of your life and asking uncomfortable questions:
What if the career I’ve built isn’t actually serving the life I want?
What if the goals I’ve been chasing were handed to me rather than chosen by me?
Who am I without [this title, this institution, this identity I’ve worn for decades]?
This can be scary, but naming what no longer serves us and letting it go doesn’t just liberate us—it clears the page for us to write a whole new chapter in our lives.
Here’s what I know to be true: You have already accomplished extraordinary things in your life. You’ve raised children, earned degrees, built a business, become an expert in your field, navigated complex organizations, or done a myriad of other brave things. You have everything you need—the skills and resilience—to redesign your work and life around what truly matters to you.
The question isn’t whether you can do it. The question is whether you’re ready to question the assumptions that have been holding you back and explore what is possible.
What Comes Next
Over the coming weeks, we’ll explore:
How institutional credibility differs from personal authority—and why that matters when you go independent
Visibility strategies for reluctant experts who are brilliant at what they do but uncomfortable with self-promotion
How to redesign work to serve life, rather than the other way around
When you know it’s the right time to make a change
The difference between strategic authenticity and generic “be yourself” advice
For now, I’ll leave you with this: Watch “Romancing the Stone” if you haven’t seen it recently. Let Joan’s story remind you that the MacGuffin—the emerald, the promotion, the title, the recognition—was never really the point. It helped her move forward and find her real treasure: courage, love, and a fuller version of herself.
Your MacGuffins have served their purpose. They’ve brought you to this point, given you valuable skills and experiences. Now it’s time to ask: What’s the real treasure you’re after?